I don't even know what to do. do I start a journal? where only I can read things? on tumblr anyone that stumbles upon it can read whatever I write. (I'm sure I can change settings, but why bother.) on here, almost no one will find this but then again everyone will read it. & on facebook it would seem like I'm just searching for attention/fishing for compliments. I can never say what I want without sounding selfish, because I guess it is in a way. everyone does things for themselves, but isn't that the point of life? to make yourself happy? maybe. I cannot accept change, even if I'm the one who brought it upon myself. there's no way I could go on thinking about how I was supposed to feel, and what I was supposed to do. but there's no way I can go on without closure. and I ruined that. I don't care if people thought I did the right thing, I'm the only one who even thinks it was partially a bad way to handle things. I don't even know what any of this means. I just miss you more than anything. but whatever, there's way too much to even think about, especially when my cat is sitting right here. she's so precious and adorable. she won't ever leave me (except when she's dead, anyway). again, she's always there even if she's uninterested. also, Bon Jovi. but anyway, she's a constant in my life. my parents are too but they wouldn't understand. by this point like always I'm ranting so I'm just gonna write my essays for this dumb college life class now. bye.